Quick Exit

My Safety Plan

In danger now? Call 911.

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  • Quick Exit (bottom right) leaves fast, but it does not erase your history or stop someone who is monitoring this phone.
More about privacy
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  • A safer device could be a trusted friend’s phone or a library computer.
  • Printed copies and shared printers can leave a record.
  • You don’t have to write anything. Thinking it through, or talking it through with an advocate, counts too.
  • On a computer, pressing Esc three times also works as Quick Exit.

A safety plan is a set of ideas, people, and resources that can help you stay safer, whether you are staying, thinking about leaving, or have left. This page shares general information, not advice for your situation, and no plan can guarantee safety. Every part is optional, so open only what fits you.

Pick what fits you

Tap a section to open or close it.

Safety options and an advocate
  • There is no single right choice. Whether you are staying, thinking about leaving, or have left, you deserve support.
  • Leaving is not always possible or safe, and staying is not a failure. People stay for real reasons, like children, money, housing, faith, or fear.
  • Risk can change over time, and the time around leaving and after leaving can be especially dangerous.
  • A trained domestic violence advocate can help you make a plan that fits your situation, including what to do in a dangerous moment. The hotlines above are free and open 24 hours a day.
  • Whatever you do to get through a dangerous moment is okay. It is not your fault.

Optional. Write only what would feel okay if someone else saw it. Nicknames are fine.

People I trust
  • It can help to have one or two people you trust. You decide who should and should not know.
  • Some people agree on a code word with someone they trust that means they need help.

Optional. Write only what would feel okay if someone else saw it. Nicknames are fine.

Children and pets
  • Children are never responsible for stopping the violence or protecting you.
  • If a child shares something by accident, it is not their fault.
  • An advocate can help you plan in a way that fits your children’s ages and needs, and your pets too.

Optional. Write only what would feel okay if someone else saw it. Nicknames are fine.

Phone and online safety
  • Someone may be able to watch a phone, accounts, or location in ways that are hard to see.
  • Changes to a phone or account can sometimes be noticed and may create risks. If you can, talk with an advocate before changing anything.
  • The National Network to End Domestic Violence’s Safety Net Project has guides for survivors: Technology Safety and Privacy toolkit. Visit it on a safer device if you can.

Optional. Write only what would feel okay if someone else saw it. Nicknames are fine.

Money, housing, and other barriers
  • Controlling your money, your pay, or whether you can work is a form of abuse.
  • Housing, immigration, disability, language, or family and faith expectations can make staying or leaving harder. Advocates can help you think through options, including shelter and legal help.
  • Things people often gather, if it is safe to: photo ID, birth certificates and Social Security cards, medicine, keys, money and bank cards, a phone and charger, children’s things, and legal or immigration papers.

Optional. Write only what would feel okay if someone else saw it. Nicknames are fine.

Signs of control and taking care of myself
  • Abuse is not only physical. It can look like controlling where you go, who you see, your money, or your phone, or keeping you from family, friends, faith, or community.
  • It can look like threats to hurt you, the children, pets, or themselves, to take the children, or to share private things about you.
  • If this sounds familiar, you are not imagining it. What is happening is not your fault, and you deserve to be believed.
  • Reaching out is not a betrayal of your family, your faith, or your community.
  • Rest, prayer, music, a walk, or someone who checks on you can help you feel steadier.

Optional. Write only what would feel okay if someone else saw it. Nicknames are fine.

Getting help and notes
  • Hotline advocates are free and can help you find shelter, counseling, or legal help, including an order of protection.
  • Deaf, DeafBlind, and hard of hearing survivors can reach Deaf advocates by video phone at 1-855-812-1001.
  • Our Resources page lists more help in Chicago, the suburbs, and across Illinois.
  • Things change. You can come back to these ideas after a move, a court date, or when things feel different.

Optional. Write only what would feel okay if someone else saw it. Nicknames are fine.

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This page is for general education and support. It does not replace professional, legal, or emergency services, and it cannot guarantee safety.

Back to all resources

Sources

National Domestic Violence Hotline, "What Is a Safety Plan?"; National Domestic Violence Hotline, "Safety Planning While Living with an Abusive Partner"; National Domestic Violence Hotline, "Internet Safety"; National Domestic Violence Hotline, "Supporting Your Children"; National Domestic Violence Hotline, "What Is Financial Abuse?"; Illinois Coalition Against Domestic Violence, "Safety Planning for Survivors"; National Network to End Domestic Violence, Safety Net Project, "Technology Safety Plan".